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got two moods: sleep is for the weak || sleeping for a week

As many around the world may know, Helen McCrory, aged 52, died yesterday from cancer. While I didn’t know her, and she certainly didn’t know me, there are several things that she taught me.

While one might debate that roles that an actor/actress takes aren’t really them, it’s a fact that roles always affect the actor/actress on a personal level. That’s just how it is — when you have to cancel reality and dive into being someone else, it takes a toll on you: you always take something from it/them. …

No, I’ve never fallen in love. So how can I give advice on it? Well, actually, this isn’t advice. This is just…a story. So if this isn’t what you were looking for, that’s okay. You can leave. But if you’re ready to listen for half a moment, if you’re ready to be related to, buckle up.

This story is about a sexual assault survivor. The person who assaulted them was really, really close to her. Like…family close.

So she never felt like she could trust anyone. Crushes were comfortable for her, because she could admire and dream from afar. But…

I’m pretty young. But I’ve never let that affect how I look at myself or how I feel. I grew up when I was seven. I’m going to let it all out, and tell you that I was touched by my brother. I never had sex, still haven’t. But since then, I’ve never been normal. I’m adopted from Korea, along with my 3 siblings (yes, we’re all from different families, but from the same country.) So I’ve always been different from the other kids, even if they were Asian too. I’ve never met a kid with a story even close…

I’ve been brought up in a Christian family and surrounding my entire life. That’s just how it’s been. My family claims to be conservative (which isn’t true — they’re Republican). Strict and leaning towards Amish-like views. Well, not really, but that’s definitely how it feels sometimes. But despite the fact that my parents were “good people” who served at the church, my dad being a youth pastor for many years, and helped out the elderly, I ended up not being safe inside my own house at the age of 7. 7 damn years old. That’s second grade. I grew up…

The Fight for a Real Education

Every day, he wakes up, throws his clothes on. Eats a bowl of cereal or toast, brushes his teeth, and catches the bus.

8,884 hours. eight thousand. eight hundred. eighty-four. hours. That’s how much time a typical U.S. student spends in school. Just from pre-K to senior year. That’s almost 1,300 hours more than the average of other countries.


Seven hours. That’s about how long my school day is. Without after-school clubs, practices, or games. Sometimes, my day can be a 12 hour shift of 8 periods of classes and lunch, then sports.

What if I told you we were now moving to a world of black and white?
You’re now entering Alice in Wonderland…and no, not the one with Judy Garland. The one with Viola Savoy. “Who even is Viola Savoy?”

September 13, 1917.
That’s when technicolour walked into our world. Films with the everyday color in it.
But what if, before 1917, that’s what life was like? Black and white and various shades of the two.

That’s how we’re treating the world. We act like it’s the “whites” against the “blacks”. If you simply treat racism like the white people are…

aren’t you tired?
tired of crying
tired of faking
tired of working
tired of pretending
tired of feeling lonely
tired of feeling useless
tired of being bored
tired of running
tired of being afraid
tired of judging
tired of fighting

aren’t you tired? i am. i’m tired of being reminded of my past. i’m tired of feeling like i’ll forever be lonely. i’m tired of being afraid i don’t have a “someone”. (remember that quote, “everyone has a someone”? do you still believe that?) i’m tired of being told to do my work when i can barely get out of…

What if I was famous and had money? What if I had access to the drugs, the fashion, the attention? Would that really change who I am on the inside?Would I still be a mentally screwed, scared-as-heck high school kid inside? We glorify these mortals, these ordinary humans. These people who are just like us on the inside. Why? Because we all want a god, someone to believe in, someone who we can think is perfect. Like there’s hope.

And I’ve dreamed it all. Somehow, I’d make it into the southern side of Cali, do something amazing with my life…

15 years old. That’s how old she was when she lost the will to live. In the middle of high school.

Losing the will to live doesn’t always mean from the brink of a building roof, the edge of a razor. Sometimes it comes in silent ways like crying on your own or going through a whole day, broken, and not one person noticing.

The thing is that, in our culture, if there is no suicide there is no problem. And if you do have a problem and say so, you’re an attention-seeker. But there are problems everyone deals with.

Here is what I believe:
The terms a “child” and an “adult” should not be determined by the physical age of a person. They should be determined based upon the maturity of a person. There are grown men and women who are emotionally stupid. They aren’t “deep” — their psychological age is a child’s. And there are children and teens who are emotionally smarter than the kings and queens of the world. They think and believe as an adult.

I, as a teen, know that the thoughts and emotions I have inside of me are “strange” for a teenager, someone…

DJ Barnes

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